I've always believed in God, but I didn't have a family that talked about Christianity and faith all that often. Because of that, I had always been reluctant to talk about my faith in God and my relationship with him since I was used to being silent. I feel that because of my silence, I wasn't able to feel how deep the Lord's love is since I ignored the topic...However, God wanted me to find him and strengthen my relationship with him-which is why I feel that Garrett (currently my fiance as of a month ago!) is my soul mate. Garrett grew up in a family filled with the Lord's love, and not only has Garrett been a blessing in my life since we love each other so much, but he has also been a blessing since he was able to get me on a path to find my own relationship with God. I wouldn't have been encouraged to do so without him in my life-God sending him to me was truly a blessing.
In the four years Garrett and I have been dating, I have tried very hard to become more knowledgable about the Lord's love and intentions, but it was hard to get comfortable talking to the Lord through prayer and talking about His love with others (since as I mentioned before, I was used to not touching upon those topics for so long). This year, Garrett and I started going to church, which has helped me a great deal in becoming more knowledgable about Him. Since we've been going to church, I've been praying to God and talking with him much more often, and have been feeling His love more and more.
Last week, I started to feel extremely overwhelmed about the different stresses in my life going on right now with school and family issues...I was feeling very emotional and on the verge of crying everyday. Then it hit me during my peek of stress last week: My solution was so simple, I couldn't believe I didn't see it before! I had been so busy and overwhelmed I realized I had neglected to talk to God for help. My solution was to talk to Him since I knew He would have the answers I would be looking for (so silly of me to be thinking I had to handle everything on my own without His help!)--I was having very lengthy prayers to him.
Once I realized my solution, I kept praying to God to give me a sign that he was there beside me to guide me. The day I prayed this, a friend of mine told me that she read on an inspirational website that seeing white butterflies means that there are angels nearby. The day after my prayer for a sign that God was beside me, I saw six white butterflies that day! ( I normally don't see them that often). WHen I talked to GOd that next night, I told him that I think maybe he was trying to send me a message with the white butterflies, but I also thought it could very well be a coincidence. I prayed again that he send me a clearer sign. WHen I went to sleep after that second prayer, right before I woke up the next morning I had a dream that I said to God, "Here's how you can tell me you're beside me: If someone gives me a white ribbon today, then I will take that as a sign that you heard my prayer." NExt in my dream, a friend of mine came over to my place and brought me a present, and it was wrapped with a white ribbon! Then in my dream God said to me "There. Now you know that I am here with you" After this part of my dream, I instantly woke up. As soon as I did, I felt that God was right there in the room with me, and his presence felt very strong! I'm not sure whether or not God speaking in my dream was actually God or just me dreaming, but I still know this dream was God sending me a message because I didn't necessarily think the ribbon in my dream was actually God sending me the ribbon instead of my imagination, but when I woke up I was 100% sure that GOd was in the room with me and knew what I had dreamt. From that, I know he is with me.
The story may sound silly to some and some may feel it doesn't prove anything, but it proved something to me, and that's what matters-is that I felt God's love.
THis whole week I have felt very strong in my faith and feel that it's growing everyday--each day I am never forgetting to turn to the Lord and to talk to Him everyday, and I feel as though He is speaking to me each day. Best of all, I know that the Lord is proud of me for my huge growth in my love and faith for him.
I am thanking the Lord everyday for how strong He is making me, and each day I thank Him for bringing Garrett into my life--I know God made Garrett and I for each other.